Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Good People in Search of Good People (part 3)

 This person, or type of person who you believe would be good quality, or marriage material, what do you think they would require of YOU before they would consider you marriage material or good quality?  It's easy to talk about what's missing in everybody else but, what's missing in YOU?

If any of us were asked to make our list of must-haves in a mate, we would have no problem creating our Christmas list of characteristics that this person must possess in order for us to deem them worthy of our love and affection.  But guess what?  Just like you have a list, they have theirs. 

Even if we are as honest as we say we know how to be when admitting to our shortcomings, I'm sure that someone else could come along and mention at least another handful of "changes" that could stand to be made.  My point is, yes it's wonderful to have a sense of self-worth, and a healthy dose of self-esteem, but none of us are above and beyond the need for growth and nothing grows you up like being in a relationship with someone.  Everything in life that we overcome leaves room for something else to come along and be conquered.  Life is full of challenges and for the most part,  if we are honest, we are often our own biggest challenge.

Knowing or admitting this doesn't mean you are not good enough or ready.  It just means that we are all works in progress and it is totally unfair to yourself and to anyone you come into contact with, to always point the finger and shine the light on what they could or should be doing differently without taking into any consideration that you too have a part to play in the success of a relationship.  It's about two people coming together, not two people coming along with one driving the other with a whip of expectations that can never be met.

Go ahead and decide what you want and don't want.  Be clear about what you desire.  But please understand that no matter how attracted you are to some type of individual or how drawn you may be to them, if you don't possess the qualities that will draw them to you just as're gonna be single for quite some time.

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