Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Single Living Series: Faces of Rejection

So a funny thing happed on the way to the market today.

as I was searching for images of rejection, the majority them,

and I mean like 99% of them looked a little something like:

Because for the most part we can’t hide it when we are not interested.

But when I found the pic that best showed how rejection felt to me

and a lot of other women through the years,

most of the time, it looks more like:


Because of the mind games men play, and sometimes

the assumptions, reading more into things,

and jumping to conclusions that we do


Or sometimes it looks a little something like:

Because for some reason, for many men it’s easier for them to

dog you or disrespect you than just tell you

that they don’t want what you want...at least not with you

Single Living Chronicles: Addiction to Rejection

Some people are more in love with being rejected than they are with the idea of being in love with someone who will love them back. I used to believe that I constantly chose men who rejected me. I learned that because I had already rejected myself, whether the man wanted to or not I was going to see to that he rejected me. Rejection was my crack. I was hooked on the heartache. Like Taylor Swift I always saw the end before it began. But more pathetic than her, I usually never saw much of a beginning. I was so ready to be in pain that I just went ahead and cut to the chase.
You can’t accuse another person of doing to you what you’ve already done to yourself long before they came along.

Single Living Chronicles: You're Not for Him Either

Women have been told over and over how to come to the conclusion that a man is “not the one for you”.  We might want to start having conversations that teach women how to determine that you are not right for that man. He may not tell you, but if you learn a little about his behavior, you’ll see that he’s showing you all the time. You’re not the one for him, and that’s OKAY. What's not okay is allowing yourself to be emotionally dragged through the mud by a man who doesn't know how to say, "You're cool, but..."

Single Living Chronicles: The Strong Silent Type

I used to be hopelessly drawn to, and attracted to what old Hollywood used to call the Strong Silent type. Not the prettiest (they’re nice to look at but that’s about it for me) but good looking enough, and with a certain broodiness about him that made me desire to be the one the crack his code. But what life taught me is that the Strong Silent type ain’t nothin but a brotha who’s EMOTIONALLLY UNAVAILABLE.  He can’t meet any of your needs as a woman in a romantic relationship outside of occasional mercy sex or bits and pieces of physical affection.  Always laid back waiting for you to do all the work, all the talking, all the reaching and all the loving. Breaking off crumbs every now and then when he feels you getting tired of the bs.  Where they learn that at? Reading the pimp chronicles?
Don’t fall for that foolishness ladies. Yes, some people are quiet by nature but at the same time, even a quiet man will talk to and show affection to the woman he truly cares for before he'll take a chance on losing her. Stop laying your body down as some kind of deposit for a sentence, a few words. Everybody talks to somebody and if he talks to nobody, he might be a good candidate for a future episode of Criminal Minds.

Where to purchase my books

Single Living Chronicles: His Loss? Not Necessarily!

When men reject us, because we simply are not what they are looking for, we console each other by saying, “It’s HIS loss”.  Uh….sweetie, not if he didn’t want you to begin with. You can’t lose something you never wanted to keep in the first place. You just let it go.
So in reality, even though it’s painful at first, it’s not his loss, or yours.
It’s just that neither of you was God’s best for the other. How bout dat?

Friday, July 8, 2016

Rising Up!

The world is starting to ask the questions: What are we supposed to do?”
They're beginning to cry out, "We've done all we knew to do and we're still being hunted and murdered in the open. What's the solution? We’ve warned our sons and daughters and we’ve gone over it many times. We’ve taught them the ropes, how to survive, how to behave when pulled over, how to be non-threatening, but still they are seen as a threat and murdered in cold blood, even on camera with no fear of consequences. What’s the answer?"
The church is rising.
I'm thankful. And grateful.

The timid will rise. The bashful will rise. The soft spoken will rise. Our voices will rise. Our prayers will rise. Our songs will rise. We will come out and up and together with the answer that supersedes the killings and injustices. The answer that doesn’t offer a fairytale of everybody coming together and getting along, where there’s no hurt or harm or casualties. The solution we’ll come with won’t be focused on the evil, but on the power of God to bring the peace that is greater than the evil around us. The peace that really does pass understanding. The peace that is puzzling even to those who walk in it. The peace that is most evident when times are most troubling. 

I feel it. Rising in me, the more I focus on the Word and not the violence and shootings and rage. I recognize them, I don’t deny their existence, but I don’t give them my undivided attention. I’m turning my eyes toward God. And I can feel the rising. I can feel myself linking up in the Spirit realm with others whose hearts and souls are crying out. I feel my gift changing. I feel a brewing in my soul, I feel tears just below the surface, not of heartache or frustration, but of my spirit responding to the change.

LORD continue by your Spirit to lead us, to tug at our heartstrings, to call us, up, out, forward into the place that You’ve destined for each of us to be, where we will fulfil our individual roles in these times and in Your Kingdom. Remind us of our calling. Reveal to us the power of our voices, not just as Americans, or African Americans, but more than ever as Believers. Help us by Your Spirit to feel SAFE in You, to go forth, to walk in wisdom, to speak with boldness, to tell people about you even though many blame You, accuse You, or dismiss the thought of You in the midst of this turmoil.


LORD, please help us. We Your people need you. Not just this nation. Not just our government. Your people who are called by Your Name. We need You. We need your help. I believe God, that many of us simply don't know HOW to really pray about this type of thing. The anger is easy. The frustration is easy. Those feelings are some that we feel often, so we are used to that. But this type of anger is new to a lot of us because we didn't grow up in the same time that our parents and grandparents did. We simply don't know how to pray. But we need you.

Holy Spirit please begin to deal with us. Speak to us in our quiet moments, in the midst of the hurt and confusion. Touch our hearts in the tender spots so that we will give you our attention and allow you to begin to speak to us about exactly what it is that we even as individuals can be and should be doing during these times. 

Remind us of what the scriptures say about these last days. Remind us of what the Word says about who we are. Help us to understand better where to draw the line between, "these are the last days and the bible said this would happen" and "we need to do something".
I pray for those of us who you have anointed in the area of social activism. For the men and women who make no hesitation going to the front line to speak on behalf of an entire race of people here in this country. I pray for their safety. I pray for their strength. I pray for clarity of thought. I pray you cover them and protect them.

I pray for the rest of us that you keep us from criticizing those on the front line. That you keep us from biting at each other. That you would open our eyes to see the trickery of the enemy in all of this. 

I pray that you begin to stir up every gift. Pull to the forefront those who have drifted into the background. Heal those who have shut up and shut down due to hurt that they don't know how to release. Help us to release every hurt and put our voices back out into the atmosphere so that a difference can be made in the heavenly places as well as in earth.
I pray for our leaders in the church everywhere, our pastors that they will hear you about what to even say to the congregations before them. Give them wisdom in how to lead your people through these times.

For all of us God, help us to return to your Word, our First Love, Your Presence, ask you what must we do, what can we do. Give us to be obedient to whatever you speak to us. And empower us to carry out your perfect will in the earth through us. Help us Lord. Help me Lord.