I think I might have gotten fed up with the talk of men not being able to find a good woman. In the Black community it has been said for years that there is a literal shortage of men. The man/woman ratio in our community has been way slanted for quite some time. Several women to one man has been the issue for years. So when I hear about our men saying they can't find a good woman....I'm not buying it.
This started out as a facebook status, but it grew into a Note, and now I'm making it a few blog posts, series if you would, and I'm wondering if it will even be a book, an ebook if nothing else. Please share your thoughts but please don't be disrespectful. Relationship talk usually gets deep and can go on and on, but at 48 I've learned a lot and quite frankly I feel like I have something to share that would really help a few people.
All this "where are the good women?" talk has gotten really old really fast. (Black) men have way too much to choose from to be complaining about not finding a good woman, and women need to stop falling for the okey doke and letting men make them responsible. Men and women all saying, "where are the good ones? " with the women saying just as often, "all the good ones are taken...or gay".
It seems to me that there are a whole lot of "good" people out here who are walking past each other every day, even talking with each other, but can't seem to "find" each other.
My belief is this, "You attract what you are. Not what you pretend to be. Not what you even aspire to be. You attract what you ARE. What and who you are at your very core is what will reach out and pull someone toward you". If you put on a facade and you snag a good one who fell for it. They're a fake too. Because if they were really what they appear to be, they would have seen through your "game". So if you're such a good man and you can't find a decent woman???? Does that mean that all the good women you encounter don't consider you "good quality" or "marriage material"???? If good men and good women can't seem to get together, then that tells me that there are a whole lot of "good people" out here who aren't as "good" as they think they are. Or maybe, as the professional would say, "you're a great catch, but YOUR picker is off".
I have found that when people are really open and honest about what they are really looking for in a mate, THAT is usually the problem. THAT is why you can't find it! Half the time people are looking for something that doesn't even exist! At least not all in one person. We have these pictures in our minds that won't go away, male and female, and nothing in real life will ever match up to our fantasies.