This healing process after my surgery has confirmed something that the Lord taught me years ago about healing. At the time it really helped me to bear the heartache that otherwise would have been completely unbearable and for some, would have driven them to end their life. I know because I considered it myself during that season.
The first 4 weeks were of course filled with a lot of discomfort, followed by straight up pains and soreness as the meds wore off. In the 3rd and 4th week I was wishing I still had some of the narcotic pain meds and that somebody would have told me I'd need them! I swore I would have kept some back had I known it would be like that 3 to 4 weeks AFTER the surgery!
I was caught off guard by the pains and went to the doctor to make sure I was okay. The nurse reassured me that these new pains were a part of the healing process. They were an indication that I was right on schedule with my healing. These "new pains" I was feeling were from ligaments and muscles "waking up", no longer under the influence of the drugs that were given to me to deaden them before they cut me open. Things were stretching back into place, tightening back up, coming back together, sometimes feeling more like they were being torn apart, and causing quite a painful stir in the process.
I had bad days out of the blue, then some really good ones. More bad days, and good until one day I woke up and knew that all of the worst is over. It was like I had been suddenly healed, but I know it didn't happen all of a sudden. The healing was happening WHILE I was hurting. The whole time I was feeling pains that stopped me in my tracks and make me moan and grunt, my body was healing.
The same is true of your emotional healing. Healing doesn't happen separately from pain. Your healing is IN your pain because it is a part of the process. With every tear you cry, you are crying tears that will never and can never be cried again. So let them flow if you have to, and through each tear, thank God that healing is taking place.
Many people miss this because they are too busy lying and trying to look stronger, and unaffected by what caused the pain but they are only cheating themselves out of the true beauty that God is trying to pull out of their ashes. Denying your pain is also denying yourself the opportunity to sense the loving Presence of the Lord, Him comforting you, embracing you, and holding you close.
I've said it before that if heartache is squeezing you, squeeze it back. Squeeze it until you get your blessing out of it. Choking back your tears and pain robs you of your blessing and how your gifts and ministry will benefit from what you've endured. Don't deny what you feel. Give it the respect that it deserves because any and everything can't just walk up on you and hurt you. If something hurts you, it's because it meant something and you can gain something from it. The whole time pain feels like it's killing you, it's actually also leaving you. So let it out, let it hurt, then let it go.