Whether I was having a good day or bad days there was one thing that I wished for: a husband. When things seemed to be going well, or better, my immediate thought would be that I wished I had someone with me to share it with, to celebrate with me. When things were not going well I would always think that it would be more bearable if someone was there for me to talk to, or cry on his shoulder and hear him tell me it was going to be okay. That was on the surface though, but God knew the very intent of my heart in those times of thinking that having a husband with me would make things better or easier. I also used to complain about the fact that I had to go through so much hard stuff alone. I really was surprised at how hard life could be on me, a single mother. I don't know. I guess I assumed that my trials would not be as strong as the trials of a man and when the weight of the things I was going through would sit on me, I often said to God, "This feels like something a MAN should have to deal with! I'm a WOMAN and a woman shouldn't have to deal with this kind of stuff! This is too much! I ain't no MAN!" I couldn't believe the Lord was allowing things to happen to me on the level that they were happening. And then to top it off He didn't even give me a husband to help carry the load?! This was some bull!
But one day the Lord answered my cry for help, or complaint, whatever it actually was, maybe both. He said, "Having a husband won't diminish your desperate need for me. You think that if you have a husband you won't need me as much but you will, and so will he. As a matter of fact, he needs me as much as you do and when he marries you and takes on you and your daughters he will feel that he needs me even more because he becomes responsible for more. He will be crying out to me even more. No matter how anointed he is he will still need me desperately as you will. When you get married your husband won't always be there for you. He may be at work when you need him or he may be away with ministry. He might be right there with you and still not understand what you're dealing with or how you feel, so you will still need me."
Well shut my mouth. Wow.
Well shut my mouth. Wow.
Is there something or someone that you are hoping or wishing for, because you think that when it shows up, you will suddenly have to pray less, or spend less time seeking after God? Do you believe like I did, that a good husband or wife, will ease your need for God? As much as we all need money to run our households and take care of our families, do you think that a big enough income will lessen your need for God? Or as He put it, "your desperate need" for Him? Look at this definition of the word, desperate.
DESPERATE: 1. despair2.3.
This is how serious our need for God is. Without Him guiding and protecting us our lives would be reckless, hopeless. Our need for Him is always urgent and a serious matter. This isn't something that a human can come along and love you enough to do away with. There is comfort to be found in human touch, friendship, and companionship, even the love of a faithful spouse. But for all that they do they will never "diminish our desperate need for God". We must never make the mistake of believing that something or someone can serve as a substitute for the real thing. How many times have you hoped, wished, prayed for something, only to receive it and feel like something was still missing? This is because of the void, the hole that God placed in our hearts for Himself when He created us. It will never be satisfied by anything or anyone other them Him. We must never forget or become confused about where our help comes from. Our help comes from the LORD!