HEALING WHILE YOU'RE HURTING

This healing process after my surgery has confirmed something that the Lord taught me years ago about healing. At the time it really helped me to bear the heartache that otherwise would have been completely unbearable and for some, would have driven them to end their life. I know because I considered it myself during that season.

The first 4 weeks were of course filled with a lot of discomfort, followed by straight up pains and soreness as the meds wore off. In the 3rd and 4th week I was wishing I still had some of the narcotic pain meds and that somebody would have told me I'd need them! I swore I would have kept some back had I known it would be like that 3 to 4 weeks AFTER the surgery!

I was caught off guard by the pains and went to the doctor to make sure I was okay. The nurse reassured me that these new pains were a part of the healing process. They were an indication that I was right on schedule with my healing. These "new pains" I was feeling were from ligaments and muscles "waking up", no longer under the influence of the drugs that were given to me to deaden them before they cut me open. Things were stretching back into place, tightening back up, coming back together, sometimes feeling more like they were being torn apart, and causing quite a painful stir in the process.

I had bad days out of the blue, then some really good ones. More bad days, and good until one day I woke up and knew that all of the worst is over. It was like I had been suddenly healed, but I know it didn't happen all of a sudden. The healing was happening WHILE I was hurting. The whole time I was feeling pains that stopped me in my tracks and make me moan and grunt, my body was healing.

The same is true of your emotional healing. Healing doesn't happen separately from pain. Your healing is IN your pain because it is a part of the process. With every tear you cry, you are crying tears that will never and can never be cried again. So let them flow if you have to, and through each tear, thank God that healing is taking place.

Many people miss this because they are too busy lying and trying to look stronger, and unaffected by what caused the pain but they are only cheating themselves out of the true beauty that God is trying to pull out of their ashes. Denying your pain is also denying yourself the opportunity to sense the loving Presence of the Lord, Him comforting you, embracing you, and holding you close.

I've said it before that if heartache is squeezing you, squeeze it back. Squeeze it until you get your blessing out of it. Choking back your tears and pain robs you of your blessing and how your gifts and ministry will benefit from what you've endured. Don't deny what you feel. Give it the respect that it deserves because any and everything can't just walk up on you and hurt you. If something hurts you, it's because it meant something and you can gain something from it. The whole time pain feels like it's killing you, it's actually also leaving you. So let it out, let it hurt, then let it go.

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Single Living Series: Faces of Rejection

So a funny thing happed on the way to the market today.

as I was searching for images of rejection, the majority them,

and I mean like 99% of them looked a little something like:

Because for the most part we can’t hide it when we are not interested.

But when I found the pic that best showed how rejection felt to me

and a lot of other women through the years,

most of the time, it looks more like:

 

Because of the mind games men play, and sometimes

the assumptions, reading more into things,

and jumping to conclusions that we do

 

Or sometimes it looks a little something like:

Because for some reason, for many men it’s easier for them to

dog you or disrespect you than just tell you

that they don’t want what you want...at least not with you

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Single Living Chronicles: Addiction to Rejection

Some people are more in love with being rejected than they are with the idea of being in love with someone who will love them back. I used to believe that I constantly chose men who rejected me. I learned that because I had already rejected myself, whether the man wanted to or not I was going to see to that he rejected me. Rejection was my crack. I was hooked on the heartache. Like Taylor Swift I always saw the end before it began. But more pathetic than her, I usually never saw much of a beginning. I was so ready to be in pain that I just went ahead and cut to the chase.

You can’t accuse another person of doing to you what you’ve already done to yourself long before they came along.

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Single Living Chronicles: You're Not for Him Either

Women have been told over and over how to come to the conclusion that a man is “not the one for you”.  We might want to start having conversations that teach women how to determine that you are not right for that man. He may not tell you, but if you learn a little about his behavior, you’ll see that he’s showing you all the time. You’re not the one for him, and that’s OKAY. What's not okay is allowing yourself to be emotionally dragged through the mud by a man who doesn't know how to say, "You're cool, but..."

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Single Living Chronicles: The Strong Silent Type

I used to be hopelessly drawn to, and attracted to what old Hollywood used to call the Strong Silent type. Not the prettiest (they’re nice to look at but that’s about it for me) but good looking enough, and with a certain broodiness about him that made me desire to be the one the crack his code. But what life taught me is that the Strong Silent type ain’t nothin but a brotha who’s EMOTIONALLLY UNAVAILABLE.  He can’t meet any of your needs as a woman in a romantic relationship outside of occasional mercy sex or bits and pieces of physical affection.  Always laid back waiting for you to do all the work, all the talking, all the reaching and all the loving. Breaking off crumbs every now and then when he feels you getting tired of the bs.  Where they learn that at? Reading the pimp chronicles?

Don’t fall for that foolishness ladies. Yes, some people are quiet by nature but at the same time, even a quiet man will talk to and show affection to the woman he truly cares for before he'll take a chance on losing her. Stop laying your body down as some kind of deposit for a sentence, a few words. Everybody talks to somebody and if he talks to nobody, he might be a good candidate for a future episode of Criminal Minds.

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Single Living Chronicles: His Loss? Not Necessarily!

When men reject us, because we simply are not what they are looking for, we console each other by saying, “It’s HIS loss”.  Uh….sweetie, not if he didn’t want you to begin with. You can’t lose something you never wanted to keep in the first place. You just let it go.

So in reality, even though it’s painful at first, it’s not his loss, or yours.

It’s just that neither of you was God’s best for the other. How bout dat?

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Rising Up!

The world is starting to ask the questions: What are we supposed to do?”
They're beginning to cry out, "We've done all we knew to do and we're still being hunted and murdered in the open. What's the solution? We’ve warned our sons and daughters and we’ve gone over it many times. We’ve taught them the ropes, how to survive, how to behave when pulled over, how to be non-threatening, but still they are seen as a threat and murdered in cold blood, even on camera with no fear of consequences. What’s the answer?"
The church is rising.
I'm thankful. And grateful.

The timid will rise. The bashful will rise. The soft spoken will rise. Our voices will rise. Our prayers will rise. Our songs will rise. We will come out and up and together with the answer that supersedes the killings and injustices. The answer that doesn’t offer a fairytale of everybody coming together and getting along, where there’s no hurt or harm or casualties. The solution we’ll come with won’t be focused on the evil, but on the power of God to bring the peace that is greater than the evil around us. The peace that really does pass understanding. The peace that is puzzling even to those who walk in it. The peace that is most evident when times are most troubling. 

I feel it. Rising in me, the more I focus on the Word and not the violence and shootings and rage. I recognize them, I don’t deny their existence, but I don’t give them my undivided attention. I’m turning my eyes toward God. And I can feel the rising. I can feel myself linking up in the Spirit realm with others whose hearts and souls are crying out. I feel my gift changing. I feel a brewing in my soul, I feel tears just below the surface, not of heartache or frustration, but of my spirit responding to the change.

LORD continue by your Spirit to lead us, to tug at our heartstrings, to call us, up, out, forward into the place that You’ve destined for each of us to be, where we will fulfil our individual roles in these times and in Your Kingdom. Remind us of our calling. Reveal to us the power of our voices, not just as Americans, or African Americans, but more than ever as Believers. Help us by Your Spirit to feel SAFE in You, to go forth, to walk in wisdom, to speak with boldness, to tell people about you even though many blame You, accuse You, or dismiss the thought of You in the midst of this turmoil.

IF MY PEOPLE

LORD, please help us. We Your people need you. Not just this nation. Not just our government. Your people who are called by Your Name. We need You. We need your help. I believe God, that many of us simply don't know HOW to really pray about this type of thing. The anger is easy. The frustration is easy. Those feelings are some that we feel often, so we are used to that. But this type of anger is new to a lot of us because we didn't grow up in the same time that our parents and grandparents did. We simply don't know how to pray. But we need you.

Holy Spirit please begin to deal with us. Speak to us in our quiet moments, in the midst of the hurt and confusion. Touch our hearts in the tender spots so that we will give you our attention and allow you to begin to speak to us about exactly what it is that we even as individuals can be and should be doing during these times. 

Remind us of what the scriptures say about these last days. Remind us of what the Word says about who we are. Help us to understand better where to draw the line between, "these are the last days and the bible said this would happen" and "we need to do something".
I pray for those of us who you have anointed in the area of social activism. For the men and women who make no hesitation going to the front line to speak on behalf of an entire race of people here in this country. I pray for their safety. I pray for their strength. I pray for clarity of thought. I pray you cover them and protect them.

I pray for the rest of us that you keep us from criticizing those on the front line. That you keep us from biting at each other. That you would open our eyes to see the trickery of the enemy in all of this. 

I pray that you begin to stir up every gift. Pull to the forefront those who have drifted into the background. Heal those who have shut up and shut down due to hurt that they don't know how to release. Help us to release every hurt and put our voices back out into the atmosphere so that a difference can be made in the heavenly places as well as in earth.
I pray for our leaders in the church everywhere, our pastors that they will hear you about what to even say to the congregations before them. Give them wisdom in how to lead your people through these times.

For all of us God, help us to return to your Word, our First Love, Your Presence, ask you what must we do, what can we do. Give us to be obedient to whatever you speak to us. And empower us to carry out your perfect will in the earth through us. Help us Lord. Help me Lord. ‪#‎IFMYPEOPLE

You Are Free to Leave

You never know where your next blessing is. I believe we have more options in life than we think we do. It’s like we don’t give God credit for having infinite ways to bless us. We place our limits on Him and we tend not to expect much or even muster up the courage to ask for much, but that thinking doesn’t line up with scripture.

I needed a door to be opened for me and God answered my prayers and opened the door. It was a blessing to me, swinging open for me just in the nick of time. I remember feeling wanted and appreciated and so thankful for the Lord showing me something different from the kind of negativity I unfortunately had grown accustomed to and to even came to expect. Shortly after walking through that door though, I realized I didn’t want to remain for a long period of time. As thankful as I was I could think of a few really good reasons why I needed to move on. Just as my reasoning began to take on the form of complaints the Lord spoke very plainly to me and said, “When I opened this door for you I didn’t open it so you could walk in and stay forever. You are free to leave.” I’ve been taking Him up on those words since that day, preparing myself for my next move.

I’m reminded of so many people over the years who prayed for a job, got hired, and then stayed on the job for years even suffering tremendously, refusing to even look elsewhere because they keep telling themselves, “But God gave me this job”.  Even if they have a longing inside for more, better, increase, even if they qualify for it, they would remain and justify doing so because God opened that door for them. As if He can’t open another one. As if He can’t hear and answer another prayer. As if they aren’t capable of continuing to grow and move forward.

God is not limited in the ways that He is able to bless and provide for us. He’s not a one hit wonder or a one trick pony.  The entire universe is at His disposal. With Him the possibilities are endless. We sing songs like, If He did it before, He can do it again, but think we should sometimes stop and do and honest heart check to see if we really believe it. Some of us live our entire lives without opening ourselves up to the possibility of something more or even different.

Do you feel stuck? Are you telling yourself that you have to stay put because God blessed you with what you have, or to be where you are? Are you assuming that just because He opened that door for you that He doesn’t have another one that can be opened if you ask? Are you waiting for someone to die before you think you can move on? Snap out of it! And many of us sadly are simply afraid for one reason or another to take a step outside the casket of our comfort zone. So we complain, and blame God for our unhappiness and accuse Him of not being resourceful enough to take us where the desire He’s placed inside of us wants us to go. Lift up your head, open your eyes, leave your options open, and allow Him to show you just how much He wants to do for you. It will exceed anything you are able to ask or imagine. And remember, unless He has given you specific instructions to stay, you are free to leave.

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Emotional Bullying

 

Bullying Definition

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

 

The Lord dropped something into my spirit a few years ago and I’m reminded of it today.  “Don’t let the enemy bully you in your emotions.”

One thing I’ve learned in my 52 years is that many people who are bullies as children do not grow out of that behavior into adulthood, and people who tend to be easy targets for bullies don’t always grow out of that tendency into adulthood. You can find bullies and victims of bullying even in the workplace as adults.

When discussing bullies one thing that is usually said still rings true, “They do you that way because they know they can. As long as they can get away with it by you not standing up to them, they will continue to bully you. As long as they can get a rise, a reaction out of you they will continue to entertain themselves with your reactions.” Something else I’ve learned about bullies is that when you stand up to them, stand up for yourself, even if you “lose” the fight, you’ll still earn their respect and they will often find someone who will remain the victim.

When you think about it, where do you think the behavior originates from?  God, or the devil? So when we recognize the author of that behavior we can better see how the enemy will do the same thing to us emotionally. 

He knows that he can say certain things, cause certain things to happen, use people to say or do certain things to get a rise or reaction out of us.  When we show him that at the least sign of something we don’t like we resort to complaining and self-pity, [Proverbs 24:10] he learns how to perfectly time his attacks and with every attack he adds in a special little something extra: Some negative suggestion that he whispers to you so you can start repeating it in your frustration. As you agree with him in your heart and with your words you become a perfect target for his bullying. Not resulting in black eyes or other physical bruises, but in your emotions, dragging you down every time you think you might be about to see some type of daylight.  Learn to FIGHT. SPEAK UP. STAND UP. GUARD YOUR HEART BY KEEPING A HANDLE ON YOUR EMOTIONS. There’s nothing new under the sun. Everybody is dealing with mess they’d rather not deal with. Put on your big girl panties or big boy boxers and put your spiritual dukes up and fight. Use that power of life and death that’s in your tongue and come out of the role of being a victim to the devil’s bullying.

I saw a quote that said, “I got hated on for being myself, so I started hating myself”. When you think about it, doesn’t that describe the enemy of your soul?  He hates you simply because of who you are! A child of the Most High God, a Royal Priesthood, an heir of God and a joint heir with Christ. You’re on your way to the place he got kicked out of when he showed his tail. You’ve been promoted into the spot that was left vacant when he lost his position in heaven. Of course he hates your guts and his mission is to convince you to hate yourself just as much by trying to convince you through life’s trials and the lies he tells you about yourself. He wants to badger you to the point that you feel like this is just the way it is, or that you somehow deserve or are the cause of the abuse, so you just join his club. Don’t let him do that to you! He’s doing it because you allow it. He’s doing it simply because he can. It may sound like I too, am accusing you for what he’s doing to you. I understand that feeling. I used to feel that way at first, but it’s really not the case. I’m simply shedding a light on the trick he’s been playing on you and getting the same results over and over. [Hosea 4:6] [2 Corinthians 2:11] If he can keep your spiritual eyes black, blue and swollen shut from his verbal beatings they will never be opened to see him for what he is. If he can keep your attention focused on what he is saying instead of that God has said about you, you will never have your faith increased by hearing the actual truth about who you are.

 

So check yourself before he makes you wreck yourself.  Check your emotions. What are you feeling? What are you hearing when you feel certain things in your emotions?  The things that you are hearing, are they in line with how God says He feels about you in His Word in scriptures like [Jeremiah 29:11] or are they more in line with what the Word says about what the enemy wants to do [John 10:10]? Are you experiencing anxiety or peace? Do you feel abandoned, or loved?  It’s really simple. As we begin to retrain ourselves to think and speak according the Word we will find ourselves spending less time entertaining what the enemy is doing and being entertainment for the enemy, and more time walking in complete victory. 

 

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What I realize from being the mother of a hard headed child.

1. I used to be hard headed and still am. It's a nature we're born with because when we finally say YES to God He'll use it in the kingdom for His glory.

2. None of us are perfect and none of us were perfect as teenagers. (Even the extra holy ones.) Some were more focused than others, sure. But some of us were just as lost and bull headed as our teen(s).

BUT even if you were obedient throughout your childhood...

Even if you managed to obey EVERYTHING your parents told you to do.

If you NEVER talked back or had even an angry thought toward a parent. (yeah right/eyeroll) If you managed to live your entire childhood without one ounce of disobedience, The fact that you were born into sin and shapen in iniquity means that from the moment you entered into this world, you came here already on your way straight to hell. So before you open your mouth and rip your baby a new one, shut up and pray.

3. Sometimes you want to SAY SOMETHING to that little fart but God won't let you. Well, maybe the reason God won't let you say anything TO YOUR CHILD is because you haven't said enough TO HIM, ABOUT your child.

#thingstoconsider

DELAYED ACCORDING TO WHO?

In recent years it has become more and more common to hear someone say. "DELAY DOES NOT MEAN DENIAL." As I was thinking about my surgery situation, this phrase came to mind and I got to thinking.  When we say “delay” who are we referring to that is or will be affected by this so-called delay?  It’s certainly not God!  We call something a delay when the timing of it coming to pass doesn’t match our expectations. We say it’s delayed when we thought or hoped it would happen by a certain time, but for whatever reason it doesn’t.  For us, things are delayed due to circumstances beyond our control. 

But no circumstance is out of God’s control. God is not affected or impacted by time. He is not governed by it. He created it for us. It helps us to measure life and seasons.

We say something is delayed because we assumed something, but it didn’t pan out the way we assumed. The Lord will tell us that He is going to do something and we begin to immediately calculate a deadline. We begin looking at present circumstances and assume that because of this or that, the promise will or has to come to pass by this time/date.  One major piece of information we neglect to consider though, is that God didn’t tell you when it was going to happen, only that it’s going to happen, so how can we declare something to be delayed when we were never given a due date? Rarely are dates involved in His promises because I believe, a lot of the condition of the fulfillment is our obedience to what He has instructed us to do in order to be positioned to see the manifestation of those things. So then delayed doesn't mean denial, it means somebody disobeyed.

DELAYS ARE USUALLY UNEXPECTED.

I had no thought whatsoever that I would be waiting 3 or more months to simply have a surgery that is so common that most of us probably are in close proximity to at least two women who’ve had one. Just like my surgery seems to be getting delayed more and more, a total of about  5 months, we all experience delays in our lives. Flight delays, the start of a concert or wedding, traffic delays due to accidents or inclement weather, etc. We can experience a lot of frustration from these delays, even to the point of rescheduling other things that are affected by the first delay. We are caught off guard by delays and sometimes have to stop and regroup to keep from allowing the frustration of the inconveniences to get the best of us. But God is never caught off guard. He’s never shocked or surprised. He’s never left scratching His head and wondering what His next move will now be. From before the foundations of the earth were laid, He knew the exact moment that each of His promises to you would be fulfilled. He just didn’t fill you in on the date and time details.

Another major factor to consider when thinking about why something in our lives may be delayed is that we have to remember, even though you may be involved, even play a key role, THIS ISN'T ALL ABOUT YOU. These so called delays are making room for so many other things to take place. There really is a bigger picture being painted by our all knowing God. I’m reminded of the birth of my youngest daughter and how I had to wait 14 years to get pregnant with her because the Lord knew that my oldest daughter wouldn’t be born for another 13 years. To me I was delayed over 13 years in getting pregnant, but to God, it was all a part of His master plan and it was all done in PERFECT TIMING.

This “delay does not mean denial” is something I actually have come to dislike because I’ve come to understand that DELAYS DON’T EVEN APPLY TO GOD.

Instead I'm learning to stop and ask God to "Reveal to me what's really happening here. Help me to see anything that I may be missing."  I said to Him even about my surgery, "If you have a specific reason for allowing this, I surrender to your reasons, but if not, I don't want to wait any longer." That's pretty much all any of us can say, "Lord this is what I desire, but if You have other plans, I surrender to Your plans. You know what I don't know."  

Keep in mind that He always has your best interest at heart.  His thoughts toward you are of peace and not of evil. Even though the way His plans play out can sometimes be painful to you and seem to throw a wrench in your plans,  (Isaiah 55:8) they are not motivated by a desire of God to hurt you, but to give you an "expected end". There is a place He expects you to end up in and that's what all of this is about. The expected end result that He desires for you. (Jeremiah 29:11) Another translations says, "a future and a hope". My personal translation says, "something to look forward to".

So how do we handle these delays? Well I've already given you a direction that your prayer to Him can go that will help keep your mind right and attitude right. Another thing we can do, and that I plan to do during my current "delay" is to take advantage of the additional time I may end up having prior to the actual surgery. Any additional time I may be gifted through this delay can be spent working on my weight and anything else that will cause me to feel better going into the surgery and cause my recovery to possibly be better. I suggest you do the same. Make the most of your so called delay, and then prepare yourself for the moment when the Lord shows you that everything was actually timed impeccably in your favor. 

Give Thanks

God sees all and knows all. He sees when you’re in a situation that is not set up to be fair to you or that is not in your overall, long run best interest. He sees every underhanded thing that happens to you and he hears the conversations that bring those underhanded things about. He knows all of the policies that are in place that work against you, that rob you of energy, money, time.

He also sees when in the midst of dealing with those things, you remain thankful to Him. He sees your faithfulness and He’s waiting for the cry of your heart to come up to Him. 

In sending your answer it may even seem like something worse has happened, but as the smoke clears you will see that he orchestrated whatever it was just to free you up to receive the thing that your grateful heart has positioned you to receive. 

Your flesh may scream so loudly that there is nothing to be thankful for in your situation, but that’s not true. (IN everything, give thanks. I Thessalonians 5:18) Notice that the scripture does not say FOR everything, but IN everything, which simply means that no matter what you are having to walk through, there is something to give thanks to God for. When you are thankful for what He has already done, and are bold enough to ask Him for what you desire, you place yourself in the center of obedience to His word (Philippians 4:6) and He HAS to honor His Word because He CANNOT lie. He will come through for you.

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Same Message, Different Wording

If there is a door that you feel you could or even should be able to walk through but for some reason you can’t, then maybe you should consider that the reason God is determined to keep that one closed is that it’s not YOURS. Having the ability to do something does not automatically mean that it’s your actual calling. It’s probably just a gift or set of abilities that is in your life to support your true calling.  Stop crying about the door God refuses to open for you and turn your attention toward whatever door He is waiting to have swing open for you. Having mastered something doesn’t necessarily mean you are to never do anything else.  Mastering something may be the sign you need to let you know it’s time to move on to something else. We say, “When God closes one door He opens another”, but at the same time we spend so much time wrestling with the door knobs of those closed doors. Turn around, open your eyes, and ask God to order your steps to the doors He will refuse to close in front of you instead of weeping at the one He refuses to open for you!

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Things to Consider: Seasons and Closed Doors

(I do not own this pic)

Ecclesiates 3:1. There is a time and a season for every activity under the sun.

Are you complaining about feeling left out, pushed aside, or not included when you really should be thankful for a season of rest?

Something to Consider: The seasons of life require that we sometimes enter a period of dormancy, inactivity, rest, veiled (concealed, hidden, obscure). Don’t confuse your season of dormancy with death.

Also consider:  Even if the motive of the other party is to hold you back or exclude you, there are two questions you can ask yourself and move forward accordingly.

1.   What could be the enemy’s desire while you are seemingly in the background?

We can all easily come up with the answer to that question!  But an even better question to ask would be:

2.   What could be God’s desire or to what advantage could God use your season of dormancy? Feeling excluded is also to feel somewhat isolated, but there are blessings that can be found in your season of isolation.

a.    Rest

b.   Replenishing & Restoration

c.    Reconnecting with God on a deeper more personal level

d.   Preparation for your next assignment

Finally: Please be careful that you’re not snatching on a door knob and trying to yank open a door that the Lord has purposely closed and locked.

One reason you might be doing this: You’ve done it before and perfected it. It’s something you’ve mastered and you know you would be a perfect candidate or choice to walk through that door. 

Something to Consider:  If you’ve already mastered it, maybe the closed door is God’s way of leading you in another direction to conquer more territories, instead of allowing you to be territorial over something you have mastered.

Another reason you might be doing this:  You have a right to go through the door. You’ve earned the right to go through the door!

Something to Consider:  If what you’re doing or attempting to do will thwart God’s plan for your life, He will continue to keep the door closed and locked. Seek Him to be sure that you’re not fighting against Him, instead of a perceived enemy.

You may have the right to walk through the door, but also consider that this might not be the right door. It could be that your blessing or answer to prayer is behind a door, just not this one. Many of us can attest to the fact that we’ve spent a lot of time expecting our answer or blessing to come from one way, and when it showed up it was coming from an entirely different direction. Not only that but usually with God, when it does show up it comes out much better than you hoped or thought!

It is true. His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways are not ours but much higher. He is not only able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we can ask or think, but usually He does exceed abundantly and above all that we can ask or think.

Moving forward: We do know according to scripture that faith without works is dead. We also know that some prayers are answered before we speak, some while we yet speak, some after we have asked, and some after what seems to be a delay.  There will be times when you will seem to be in a fight. But when you begin to feel as if you are hitting your head against a brick wall, or like you’re fighting a different kind of enemy, it might not be an enemy at all!  It may be your Lord trying to get you to realize the season you are in, or to turn your attention away from a door that He has obviously closed, simply to keep you in the center of His Will.