SCARS

I was talking with the ex the other day and noticed a scar on his hand and wrist, and remembered the accident he was in a few years ago.  That scar came from doctors having to literally dig glass out of his wrist that had gotten in it as a result of him being dragged while the truck was turned on it's side...his side down. That scar will always be on his wrist, and a reminder of something that could have easily killed him. I thought about how just one incident can scar you for the rest of your life.  Like most people, I too have a few physical scars. 

I thought about how one other incident, my marriage to him, scarred me for life. And then I was  reminded that scars aren't the worst thing that can happen to you. If you are alive and have scars, you're blessed because it means that whatever happened to you didn't kill you.   Scars are what you show as proof of what you went through, and survived. Scars mean there was an injury, there was pain, and there was bloodshed, but the wounds healed. Scars testify that for every day that you felt like dying would be easier, you were strong enough to KEEP LIVING!

I was reminded that wishing my "scars" (the painful experiences) away is not the answer. I tend to look at what I went through and feel sorry for myself. I tend to spend time wishing about what I could have or should have. I tend to spend more time in regret than in Thanksgiving. Not for the fact that what happened happened, and that it hurt me so badly that sometimes I wanted to die.  But thanksgiving for the fact that I survived. I came out stronger, wiser, better, more in tune with myself and my God. Thanksgiving for learning the most odd lesson of all, That God somehow reveals more to us in our trouble, our wrong, our mistakes than He does when we seem to have it all together. I learned about His mercy, and how He doesn't judge me nearly as harshly as I judge myself. At times when I was expecting some sort of punishment, all I received was kindness, gentleness, patience and His loving presence. If not for my scars and what caused them, I wouldn't have experienced this amazing level of God's love and Grace. 

I have even gone so far as to look at my "scars" and see myself as damaged goods. I've looked at my scars and questioned my worth, "Who would want me with these scars? Who will see past them? Who will be able to love me because of what they represent and not shun me because of what has happened to me?" I know I'm not the only one who has done this.  The longer we wait for what we hope for, or promises from God to be fulfilled, the more we sometimes tend to question our worthiness to receive them.  We have to be reminded from time to time, that what happened to us, and the fact that we overcame it, makes us more beautiful. We are not beautiful in spite of our scars, but because of them. I even wrote a poem about it a few years ago, when I was trying to love someone who couldn't see past his own pain. Somehow he had convinced himself that no matter how badly anybody else had been hurt, they could not have been hurt more than he was. As a sensitive person I know that we tend to feel things more deeply and we also tend to take longer to get past hurt, but he was so addicted to the pain of his own sad story that he couldn't see that we all have been damaged at some point. We've all been broken, brought to our knees, on our face weeping because of the wounds we suffered. But it's how we see the leftover scars that determine how we move forward.

There is no such thing as perfection. Trying to wish your scars away, or pretending they aren't there won't make you worthy of love, but proves that you are not yet able to receive it. It blinds you from the fact that the heart that is reaching out to embrace your own has also been made more beautiful by the scars that their pain left behind. We are not better by pretending that we have not been broken and don't still have cracks. We are better by admitting it, owning it, and growing from it. When we do that we are ready to embrace another heart and bond with another soul. We can come together not as two victims, comparing and competing with each others wounds, but as two conquerors, having respect and admiration for the strength that it took each to overcome and the lessons learned, that make us perfect...for each other.

Lord, help us to remember that though the ashes in our lives are real, there is even more beauty to behold. because You have promised us beauty for our ashes. 

Because of You our scars become our beauty marks!

Scars
Not all scars are hidden in a broken heart
But many are in the open, visible from the start
I’ve already seen a few of yours
And you say there are even more

I say your scars are marks of beauty
Of things that tried, but couldn’t keep you away from me
Each shows the world something you survived
None could kill you though they all tried

I should like to kiss them, each and every one
To show my appreciation for what God has done
Show me your scars and I’ll show you mine
Of things that couldn’t kill us before our time

Not all scars are in the open, visible from the start
But many are hidden in a broken heart
Though no one sees them they’re there just the same
And undeniable is the pain from whence they came

Even though healing is taking place
We still find occasional tears upon our face
But we’re so blessed to feel safe enough to reveal
Even our deepest wounds that God does heal

Please don’t doubt your beauty, because you really are
Beautiful not in spite of, but because of your scars
So show me your scars and I’ll show you mine
As we begin to walk together through time
6-13-09