While walking through this current season of testing I've found myself thinking (toward God) that if it was just me involved and not my daughters, I wouldn't have such a problem with thinking about what's going to happen, where I'll live, where I'll go. I wouldn't have to worry about two other people who are really fully dependent upon me. It wouldn't be so hard to go through, I think. I guess in my own little fleshly mind I've been trying to correct God about how He is choosing to walk me through what I have to go through on the way to where I'm going. You see, it's been as if I've been telling God that He's messing up my girls' futures by what He's making them have to walk through with me.
But as always, He has a word of correction that settles the issue in no more than one or two sentences. I was in the bathroom sweeping and once again I thought, "It would be one thing if I was going through this by myself, but I have the girls to think about. I have to think about where they go to school. I have to think about how many times we've had to move and still may have to move". But the Holy Spirit spoke to me and asked me a simple question that was just as much a statement as it was a question, "What if what they are going through with you is preparing them for the life that God already has prepared for them?"
Suddenly it all makes more sense. It sort of settles this issue once and for all. My daughters are not suffering unnecessarily any more than I am. There is purpose for all of our lives.Their lives, their futures, even that which God has called and ordained for them to do for the kingdom are embedded in my own. He gave them to me because the life He has ordained for them starts with me, and not just the good stuff, but also the not so good stuff plays a very important role in their futures. Everything they are seeing, watching, experiencing, witnessing while living life as my daughters is adding to their own personal testimonies, and preparing them for the life He has already planned for them.
It's building up God's resume with them by everything they see Him do for me, for us, when we walk through challenging times. As they grow into adulthood and step into other areas of life on their own, many things will be brought to their remembrance. When they cry, they will remember my tears, and they will remember that I didn't cry forever. They will remember that I laughed again. They will remember how I bounced back, every single time, how I felt so scared and discouraged at times, but then remember how God stepped in and did what only He could do. They will remember how people helped us when we needed it most. They will remember that God always took care of us. They are learning way more than I probably can imagine and everything they are learning is preparing them to walk through life in their own relationships with God.
God won't start thinking about my girls somewhere in their future. He has always had them on His mind, engraved in the palm of His hand, since the beginning of time. He knew them both personally before He ever formed the worlds. His thoughts toward them, according to Jeremiah 29:11 are just as His thoughts towards me. He knew before He placed them in the womb that they would be given to me, and He has an expected end, a future and a hope for all of us! Thank You Lord, for letting me know that you are taking care of all of us, every day, in every situation and all our futures are secure in YOU!
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